North Korea accidentally attacks itself

South Korea’s military has reported that North Korea last night conducted another missile test, and this time the missile landed right in the centre of Pyongyang.

The White House says the medium-range missile had a much shorter range than those used in North Korea’s last three tests, and “made an unexpected u-turn shortly after take off.” The latest rocket flew about 100m towards the Sea of Japan, before turning back and heading for the city.

“There was one hell of a bang,” said a restaurant owner whose business is located just outside the impact crater in downtown Pyongyang. Luckily for the North Koreans the nuclear warhead on the device did not explode, and damage was limited to roughly one square mile of the city centre.

The UN Security Council have demanded that North Korea conduct no further such tests against themselves. Japanese news agencies say that the missile was fairly typical of the reliability of North Korean weapons. “More miss-destruction that mass destruction,” said one spokesperson.

Japan’s Cabinet Secretary Yoshihide Suga told a press conference “We have nothing to fear from North Korea. They couldn’t hit a pissing barn door with a beach ball.”

Kim Jong-un, Chairman of the Workers’ Party of Korea and supreme leader of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea, was unavailable for comment last night as it was his bath time.